Inside Out -->

Once again, no doctors reports to give right now. It's kind of funny though because I feel like something is missing when I don't have any appointments! ha. I know that's awful but I got used to having weekly and even daily doctors visits so this long break is just different. But don't get me wrong, it is MUCH welcomed.
Anyway, another thing I the Lord has brought to my attention through this whole process is the subject of empty prayer promises. If you are reading this as a regular church attendee then you know exactly what I mean. How many times after church have you listened to someone telling you about a particular struggle in their life and at the end of the conversation you say, "Well, hang in there, I will be praying for you,"?? And though you may have every intention of keeping that person in mind during your prayer times, you end up forgetting or just never get around to it. I don't know about you but I know this is the case for me more often than I'd like to admit.
The kicker with this whole scenario though, and the part the Lord revealed to me, is that I have now let my own empty prayer promises affect my acceptance of others prayers. My prayer life is something I am working on, to pray without ceasing, but because I know I sometimes offer empty prayer promises I now find myself in the back of my mind judging whether or not I think someone will really be praying for me! That's awful isn't it?? And yet, I do it almost without thinking.
So this really challenged me once again. First, to continue on my journey to incorporate prayer more into my daily life and second, to stop letting my own failures be the lense through which I see others. I have had many many people tell me lately that they are praying for me and I know it's true. And even more than that I know many who are praying on there knees, pleading, and standing in the gap for me and my healing even more than I am for myself. And I am thankful! Thank you, truly, to everyone who has been and is continuing to remember me in your prayers.
Another thing that is turning up through this whole process is that God is working things out almost opposite of the way I expected Him to. Like He never does that right? ha. But when I began to accept my situation, I immediately thought, 'Ok, this will be an opportunity for me to share God and really use my circumstances to reach others.' And I admit, that has been happening and I pray it will continue, but even more than I have been helping others, God has been really showing me ways that I need to improve myself. I should have figured considering His theme for me this year has been humility :) but it never ceases to amaze me how God truly does use all things intended for evil and works them for the good of those who love Him. God is good.